Showing posts with label sense of humor unemployed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sense of humor unemployed. Show all posts

October 11, 2013

Statistics of the Lives of Furloughed Federal Employees

I will be interested to see statistics after this shut down is over.
I wonder...
What percentage of furloughed federal employees:

1.  Took out loans against their Thrift Savings Plan
2.  Took out loans from credit unions
3.  Took out loans from banks
4.  Were forced to file bankruptcy
5.  Filed for unemployment
6.  Sold off some possessions on Craig's List, Ebay, etc.
7.  Sex Life improved significantly
8.  Sex Life eroded significantly
9.  Obsessive-compulsive employees ended up with a spic-and-span clean house
10.  Grew a beard
11.  Slept in until noon or later with frequency
12.  Stayed up after midnight since they weren't working
13.  Their pets appeared visibly more happier/content and their behavior improved.
14.  Lost weight intentionally
15.  Gained weight
16.  Lost weight unintentionally
17.  Finished previously unfinished projects
18.  Accomplished major accomplishments
19.  Decided to change careers
20.  Made other major life-changing decisions 
21.  Quality of life improved substantially
22.  Quality of life deteriorated significantly
23.  Got sick more
24.  Health improved
25.  Quality of sleep improved
26.  Quality of sleep became impaired/worsened
27.  Came up with significant creative ideas
28.  Dream activity while sleeping improved
29.  Dream activity while sleeping worsened, had nightmares, etc.
30.  Communications improved with family, relatives & friends i.e. in person, via email, via phone, etc.
31.  Social activity significantly decreased
32.  Social activity significantly increased
33.  Updated their resumes
34.  Applied for other jobs
35.  Considered quitting or leaving their current federal job to go to private industry
36.  Considered moving out of the United States
37.  Decided to quit or to leave their current federal job to go to private industry
38.  Decided to move out of the United States
39.  Decided to retire
40.  Decided to delay their retirement
41.  Changed their distribution of funds in their Thrift Savings Plan retirement accounts
42.  Decided to sell their homes
43.  Decided to move
44.  Became more neurotic
45.  Became more uninhibited
46.  Sense of humor improved
47.  Sense of humor dwindled
48.  Attitude became more positive
49.  Attitude became more negative
50.  Spent more time at home on the internet
51.  Spent less time at home on the internet
52.  Watched more tv
53.  Watched less tv
54.  Took a trip or two within a day's drive
55.  Took a trip or two out of state
56.  Took a major trip far from home i.e. across the country, to another country
57.  Reassessed their career stance and plans and life plans in a major way
58.  Those who weren't depressed developed significant depression
59.  Those previously depressed had their depression significantly worsen
60.  Let their housework deteriorate and they lived in a mess of squalor.
61.   Fell in love
62.  Fell out of love
63.  Initiated divorce proceedings or had their spouse initiate divorce proceedings
64.  Died of stress-related causes
65.  Died of other causes
66.  Created blogs about the shutdown and furlough
67.  Cried because of the furlough and shutdown
68.  Laughed because of the furlough and shutdown
69.  Became deliriously happy due to the furlough and shutdown
70.  Stayed intoxicated or indulged in drug or alcohol abuse during the furlough and shutdown
71.  If previously addicted, their addictions worsened significantly
72.  Quit smoking cigarettes
73.  Smoked considerably more cigarettes
74.  Blew money indulging in luxuries they never have time to participate in while working i.e. massage, etc.
75.  Didn't go anywhere and were very tight with money because they were furloughed
76.  Friends and family shunned them because they were furloughed
77.  Experienced haughty comments from others who are envious of or despise federal employees
78.  Grew very bored
79.  Were never bored
80.  Altered their Christmas spending budget
81.  Experienced catastrophic life events on top of being furloughed

October 9, 2013

Comic Relief for Furloughed Federal Employees - Breaking Bad

This is a Must Watch short video for Breaking Bad fans:

Brian Cranston's Transformation into Water White

Here is the link:

http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2012/07/watch-bryan-cranstons-transformation-into-walter-white

Animated Gif: Being Furloughed, Shutdown Humor

lemmings 
I bet many furloughed feds can relate to this animated gif!


Heres another one.

Furloughed federal workers could get jobless benefits and back pay, then pay back benefits

AL.com has an article "Furloughed federal workers could get jobless benefits and back pay, then pay back benefits".
A link to this article is below.

http://blog.al.com/wire/2013/10/furloughed_federal_workers_cou.html

Furloughed Government Employees Are Selling Their Possessions On Craigslist For Cash

 BuzzFeed Politics has an article with humor and pictures:  "

Furloughed Government Employees Are Selling Their Possessions On Craigslist For Cash"

Below is the link to this article, which offers some humor in this furlough situation.


http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/furloghed-government-employees-are-selling-their-possessions

September 30, 2013

Links to U.S. Newspapers & More News Links



Newspapers (U.S.)
Editor & Publisher's Media Links: U.S. Newspapers
·       Addicted to Noise [Music paper]
Search ATN or Music News
·       Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
·       Bakersfield Californian
·       Boston Globe
·       Capital Times [Madison, WI]
·       Chicago Sun-Times
·       Chicago Tribune
·       Christian Science Monitor
·       Chronicle of Higher Education [Article summaries]
·       Cincinnati Enquirer
·       Cincinnati Post
·       Daily Pilot [Costa Mesa/Newport Beach, CA]
·       Dallas Morning News [Registration required]
·       Deseret News [Salt Lake City]
Search Deseret News
·       Denver Post
·       Detroit Free Press
·       Detroit Journal [Strikers' edition of Detroit News & Detroit Free Press]
·       Detroit News
·       Fort Worth Star-Telegram
My Turn [Robert Paul Reyes' column]
·       Hartford Courant
·       Houston Chronicle
·       Lexis-Nexis [Gateway to many newspapers; UCI-restricted]
·       Los Angeles Times
Orange County Edition | Communities | National Edition [PDF file]  Search Times archives from 1990
·       Miami Herald
Search Miami Herald
·       New York Post
·       New York Times
Search New York Times
·       Newsday [Long Island & New York City]
·       NewsLibrary [Fee-based retrieval from dozens of newspaper archives in
Knight Ridder chain; free searching]
Search the database.
·       Oakland Tribune
·       Orange County Register [Selected sections]
City Resumés | Connect [Computer-related section] | Search this section
·       Palo Alto Weekly
Search Palo Alto Weekly
·       PC Week
Search PC Week
·       Philadelphia Daily News
Search Philadelphia Daily News
·       Philadelphia Inquirer
Search Philadelphia Inquirer
·       Press-Enterprise [Riverside, CA]
·       Press-Telegram [Long Beach, CA]
Search Press-Telegram [Fee required for downloading]
·       Roanoke Times [W. VA.]
·       Sacramento Bee
·       Salt Lake Tribune
·       San Bernardino County Sun
·       San Diego Union-Tribune
·       San Francisco Chronicle
Search San Francisco Chronicle
·       San Francisco Examiner
·       San Francisco Free Press [Newspaper of striking employees of San
Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco Examiner, & San Francisco News Agency, 1994]
·       San Jose Mercury News
[Gary Webb's expose of CIA's Contras & Drugs plus editor's retraction]
Search Mercury NewsLibrary
·       Seattle Times
·       Seattle Union Record [Seattle Times & Post-Intelligencer strikers' newspaper]
·       Star Tribune [Minneapolis]
Search Star Tribune [up to 3-weeks]
·       Star/News Online [Indianapolis Star & Indianapolis News]
·       Telegraph Herald [Dubuque, IA]
Browse or Search Telegraph Herald
·       USA Today
Search USA Today
·       Vietnam Daily News [1995 only; selected news agency dispatches]
·       Wall Street Journal [Registration required; free access now]
·       Washington Post
·       More U.S. newspapers [via Crayon]
·       Other U.S. newspapers [Comprehensive Editor & Publisher site]
Other News Resources (U.S.)
·       ABC News Radio [RealAudio]
·       AP Online
·       Broadcast.com [Audio]
·       C-SPAN
·       Cal Law: Daily Opinion Service [Legal Rulings]
·       CBS News: Up to the Minute [audio/video/text]
Campaign '96 | Search Campaign '96 site
·       ClariNet [Current News]
·       CNN: OJ Simpson Trial
·       CNN: Showbiz [Incl. current movie video clips]
·       CNN: U.S. News
Search CNN
·       The Comic Strip [Comics from United Media]
·       Drudge Report [Includes links to many news services & columns]
·       Editor & Publisher
·       ElectionLine [ABC News/Washington Post/Newsweek venture]
Search ElectionLine database
·       Emergency Net News
·       Fortune Magazine
Search Fortune Magazine [via Time-Warner Pathfinder gateway]
·       Fox News
·       KBIA News: Oklahoma City Bombing [Audio & video clips]
·       KPFK [Pacifica radio station]
·       MSNBC: News Front
Search MSNBC
·       National Public Radio [RealAudio]
·       NBC
·       Netly News
·       News.com [Tech news]
·       NewsBoy: Your News Source [Links to newspapers]
·       Newspage [Busines news]
·       OC Metro
·       OC Now
·       Orange County Real-Time Traffic Report [From Caltrans; with links to San Diego &Los Angeles reports; digital map; & tables of current freeway speeds]
·       Presidential Tax Returns
·       Radio Nation [RealAudio]
·       Reuters News Media Headlines [Current news from Yahoo]
·       Slate [Fee-based]
·       Stale [Parody of Slate above]
·       Television News Archive [Vanderbilt University]
·       Timecast: The RealAudio Guide [Links to live & other RealAudio sites]
·       Time Magazine
·       Time News Service Daily [Incl. search engines for related topics]
Search Time [via Time-Warner Pathfinder gateway]
·       TV Nation
Search 9th Circuit Opinions
·       U.S. News Online [U.S. News & World Report]
·       WorldWide Internet TV
·       Yahoo! News [Search engine & links to news sites]